Outings
To integrate and make the most of their au pair experience, au pairs need to meet new people and have a social life. To this end, they organize their own outings. But what rules should you adopt?
Adopt the same rules you would with your child. Firstly, you can limit the number of outings to 2 per week, and only on days when she’s not looking after the children. Secondly, you can set a maximum return time, e.g. 3 a.m. if you’re too worried.
It’s important to set a framework from the outset, and to talk about it from the very first day when the au pair settles in. Habits develop quickly, and it’s hard to go back on them once they’ve taken hold.
Shopping
Your au pair comes from another country, with its own customs and habits. He or she may have different tastes from what you cook, or even have very different mealtimes from us.
Shower gel, shampoo, day cream: your au pair writes them down on the shopping list, but should the family buy them?
For food shopping, you can suggest that he/she write down what he/she wants on the shopping list. The aim is to integrate him/her, but also to acculturate him/her, so you’re not going to go across town to find Chinese noodles, but if he/she likes lemon yoghurt and no one else eats it, you can treat him/her from time to time.
As for personal expenses for beauty products such as day cream or make-up, these are the responsibility of the child, who receives pocket money to buy them.
Cell phone use
You’ve provided your au pair with a cell phone so that she can be contacted and find her way around the city and on her journeys. But he/she spends too much time on the mobile, how can you regulate this?
You can ask the au pair to leave the phone in her/his bag or in her/his room when she/he is with the children, but don’t blame her/him for not being immediately reachable if you call!
This is an important subject, and it’s important to announce it strictly and kindly so as to anticipate bad habits.
Invitations
Your au pair has made lots of friends and wants to invite them over. She has a boyfriend and you don’t know how to deal with him.
You can refuse to allow the au pair to invite friends to your home, limit the frequency of invitations or accept them only during the day and not in the evening. As far as the boyfriend is concerned, you can offer to invite him for a meal or an aperitif, and you’ll be reassured to know the person.
As far as possible, remind him/her that he/she came to enjoy his/her au pair experience and that it’s important to keep this as a priority.
The car
Your au pair has a car at his/her disposal to accompany the children to school and activities. He/she uses it to go to French classes and for personal travel. Do you have to pay for fuel for these personal trips?
You could, for example, pay for two full tanks a month, as you consider this to be sufficient to cover the necessary distances with the children. But you also have the option of limiting the use of the car to the children’s journeys and the French lessons. Outside these times, he/she uses public transport.
👋 Finally, don’t hesitate to take part in our free webinars. It’s an opportunity to exchange your rules of life.
