You’ve found your au pair. Your au pair’s contract is signed and you’re getting ready to welcome her.
I’m Manuela, co-founder of Butrfly, and I’ve been hosting au pairs for several years. I’d like to share with you my advice (tried and tested) on how to get off to a good start with your au pair.
Welcoming an au pair into your family is an enriching experience, both for you and for the young person discovering your culture. However, integrating a new person into your family can sometimes be tricky, especially during the first few weeks.
This experience allows them to perfect their French while discovering the local culture. For host families, it’s an opportunity to benefit from invaluable help with childcare and household chores, while opening up to another culture.
To ensure the success of this intercultural adventure, it’s essential to prepare your au pair’s arrival properly, and to encourage their integration right from the start. In this article, I’ll give you 5 practical tips for successfully welcoming and integrating your young au pair, and laying the foundations for a positive and enriching experience for the whole family.
Whether you’re welcoming an au pair for the first time or are already familiar with this type of exchange, these tips will help you create a warm and caring environment, conducive to your au pair’s blossoming within your family.
1- Welcoming the au pair on arrival
Your au pair’s arrival is an important moment that will set the tone for the rest of her stay. So it’s essential to give her a warm and friendly welcome, so that she quickly feels at ease in her new family.
Organizing the arrival
Make sure you’re available on the day your au pair arrives. If possible, pick her up yourself at the airport or train station. This will make her feel welcome and expected right from the start. Allow enough time to welcome her without being rushed by other obligations.
Preparing the room
Before your au pair arrives, make sure her room is ready and welcoming. Make sure it’s clean, tidy and comfortable. You can add a few little touches like a welcome note or a small welcome gift on the bed (a bar of soap, a cup, a bath towel). This will show her that you’ve thought of her and are happy to welcome her.
A welcome gift
A small welcome gift is always appreciated and helps to start your stay on a positive note. Opt for something simple but personalized, like a guide to your city, local specialties, or a decorative object typical of your region. The important thing is to show your au pair that you’ve thought of her. Taking the time to prepare for this arrival is essential to lay the foundations for a relationship of trust.
By taking care of these first moments, you’ll give your au pair the confidence to quickly feel at home. This will greatly facilitate their integration and the start of your adventure together.
2 - Discovering the site
Arriving in a new country can be confusing for your au pair. So it’s important to help her quickly familiarize herself with her new surroundings, so that she feels comfortable and confident.
Visit the house and neighbourhood
Start with a detailed tour of the house. Show him his room, the common areas, and explain how the appliances work. Next, show him around the neighborhood. A walk is ideal to show him the local shops, parks, and important places like the pharmacy or post office.
Showcase transport and shops
Explain to your au pair how local public transport works. Show her the nearest bus or metro stops, and help her obtain a transport card if necessary. Also point out supermarkets, bakeries and other useful shops in the area.
Don’t hesitate to accompany them on their first shopping trips to help them find their way around and understand how local stores work, which may be different from those in their home country. He/she will appreciate you helping him/her discover good products that are different from his/her own.
Explaining local particularities
Every city or region has its own particularities, and it’s important to get to know them if you want to fit in. Talk to your au pair about the particularities of your neighborhood or town:
- Market days
- Important cultural events
- Local customs to be aware of
- Neighborhood rules, if any.
You can also provide them with a small tourist guide to the area, or show them useful applications for discovering the surrounding area.
By taking the time to show your au pair around, you’ll help her quickly feel at home and gain independence. This will greatly facilitate her integration and enable her to make the most of her experience with your family and in your country.
3 - Setting the schedule
A well-defined timetable is essential for the au pair’s stay to run smoothly. It avoids misunderstandings and helps the au pair to organize him/herself efficiently.
Define tasks and responsibilities
Start by listing precisely the tasks the au pair will have to perform on a daily basis. For example:
- Wake up the children and help them get ready in the morning
- Prepare the children’s meals
- Take children to and from school
- Help with homework
- Organizing fun and educational activities
- Tidy children’s rooms
Be as precise as possible in your job description to avoid any ambiguity. Don’t hesitate to work with her for the first week, even if this may seem a bit academic, as it gives her a chance to see things for the first time and get to know your habits.
Set work and rest schedules
Draw up a detailed weekly schedule indicating
- The au pair’s working hours
- Days off (at least 1 full day per week)
- Times when she must be available
- Free time for language courses or other personal activities
Provide opportunities for exchange
Include regular times in your schedule to take stock of the situation with your au pair:
- A weekly meeting to discuss the past week
- A more in-depth monthly review
- Informal times for day-to-day exchanges
These moments of communication are essential for maintaining a good relationship and adjusting the organization if necessary.
By taking the time to draw up a clear, detailed schedule with your au pair, you lay the foundations for a harmonious collaboration. Don’t hesitate to review it together after a few weeks to adapt it if necessary. Flexibility and communication are the keys to a successful au pair experience for all concerned. The relationship you have with your au pair is reflected in the relationship she builds with your children. You are the family role model.
Your au pair’s integration also involves moments of sharing and conviviality. These moments help create stronger bonds and make your au pair feel truly part of the family. In France, sharing a good meal is often an opportunity to relax and have a good time.
4 - Sharing a good time
Organize a welcome meal
From the very first days, plan a special meal to welcome your au pair. It’s an opportunity to introduce him/her to your cuisine or to local specialties, and to create a warm atmosphere.
Involving the au pair in family activities
Regularly invite your au pair to take part in family activities outside working hours:
- Weekend outings
- Board game evenings
- Cultural visits
- Important family events
These shared moments will help your au pair better understand your family culture and feel included.
Encouraging cultural exchanges
Take advantage of your au pair’s presence to encourage cultural exchanges:
- Ask him/her to cook a dish typical of his/her country
- Organize theme evenings around her culture
- Encourage her to share her traditions with your children
These exchanges will enrich the whole family’s experience and help your au pair feel valued.
Now let’s talk about a more delicate subject: establishing open communication.
5 - Open communication
Clear and regular communication is essential for the au pair’s stay to run smoothly. It helps prevent misunderstandings and resolve any problems quickly. This involves a number of habits:
Regular updates
Set up regular chats with your au pair:
- A brief daily exchange to review the day’s activities
- A more in-depth weekly meeting to discuss the past week
- A monthly review to discuss more general aspects of the stay
These meetings allow you to discuss important issues calmly and maintain a good relationship. When we’re tired, or if everything’s going well, we may feel lazy, or consider them incidental, but they’re essential to building the relationship.
Listening to difficulties
Encourage your au pair to express any difficulties or concerns. Be open and understanding of their concerns.
Giving and receiving constructive feedback
Don’t hesitate to give your au pair regular feedback on his/her work:
- Highlight strengths and progress
- Calmly explain any areas for improvement
- Ask for your au pair’s opinion on family organization.
Mutual, constructive feedback will enable everyone to improve and strengthen mutual trust.
By implementing these open communication practices, you’ll create an environment conducive to a successful au pair experience, for both your family and your au pair.
A rewarding adventure for the whole family
Hosting an au pair is much more than just a childcare solution, it’s a real human adventure that can positively transform your family life. By following these tips for successfully integrating your au pair, you open the door to an extraordinary experience of cultural exchange and mutual growth.
Remember that every little gesture counts. From a warm welcome, to open communication, to sharing convivial moments, each of your actions contributes to creating a caring environment where your au pair can flourish.
Don’t forget that this experience is also enriching for you and your children. It’s a unique opportunity to broaden your horizons, discover a new culture and maybe even learn a new language. Your home becomes a veritable crossroads of international exchange, offering your children an invaluable opening onto the world.
So embark on this wonderful adventure with enthusiasm and goodwill. Be patient, understanding and open-minded. The challenges you may encounter are simply opportunities to grow together. This is perhaps the greatest lesson of all. Remember that your au pair will never do better than you-you are his or her role model.
By implementing these tips with sincerity and commitment, you’ll not only create an ideal setting for your au pair, but you’ll also enrich your family life considerably. Who knows, maybe you’ll forge bonds that will last well beyond the au pair’s stay? Many Butrfly families tell us that they keep in touch with their au pairs for many years.
The au pair adventure is just around the corner. It’s up to you to make it unforgettable!
