“We don’t believe in ourselves until someone has revealed to us that deep inside there’s something precious worth listening to, worth trusting, and sacred to touch. When we believe in ourselves, we can be curious, marvel, have unrestrained fun or experience anything that makes the human spirit happy.”
It’s true that, caught up in the hectic rush of daily life, between metro, work, bedtime, homework, kid’s bath, kid’s table and all the rest, it’s not always easy to take the time to listen to our children, or even to talk to them attentively.
Our days are punctuated by “I don’t have time, we’ll see later, sweetie”, “please tidy your room”, “finish your plate, sweetheart”, whether through automatism, education or lack of time.
Here are 10 simple, positive phrases to say to your children
1- I love you
It goes without saying, but it’s better said than done, isn’t it?
2 - Congratulations on your efforts!
When a child comes home from school with a 10/20 on his dictation, rather than pointing out the spelling mistakes, why not encourage him on how far he’s already come in his learning. 10/20 is probably 10 words written correctly, and that’s already a great effort.
3 - You have the right to make mistakes
Trust your child, let him take a path that’s not always easy, on which he may find pitfalls, let him make mistakes. If you encourage him, if you assure him of your presence and benevolence, there’s a good chance he’ll get something out of it all, from his mistakes as well as his successes.
4 - Thank you
It’s nothing and it’s a lot. Saying thank you teaches your child gratitude, one of the key principles of positive psychology.
5 - What do you think?
Taking your child’s opinion into account means giving him his rightful place in the family, affirming his ability to be himself, to express himself, and to build his self-confidence.
6 - I beg your pardon
Children develop through imitation. Showing them that you may have made a mistake, that you may have reacted disproportionately, that you’re asking for forgiveness, implies that you can make amends for your actions.
7 - You can do it
Encouraging your child, always, without forcing or intimidating him, giving him your trust, is also forging his confidence.
8 - There are many ways to succeed
Whether you live in a cooperative or competitive world, there are always several ways to reach a goal!
9 - Would you like to tell me about your day?
Often, parents are frustrated because they’d like to know more about what’s going on at school, but sometimes the child doesn’t want to talk about his day – it’s his “secret garden”. Asking them if they agree means allowing them to define their perimeter, taking into account their space, and giving them the opportunity to express their agreement or disagreement. Then, sometimes, tongues can start to wag!
10 - Yes
Even if it’s necessary to set prohibitions, to protect your children with limits that must not be exceeded, you can also try to talk in a rather positive way, to see what it’s possible to do, rather than always emphasizing what it’s impossible to do.
By sowing these little seeds of kindness on a daily basis, you may well see some changes in your toddlers’ behavior. And who knows, you may even find yourself more relaxed!
