If you’re a host family for an au pair or hosting a student, you’re thirsty for advice on how to build a balanced and lasting relationship.
Living together is a life-changing experience. We don’t often get the chance to live with people other than our own family.
Living together as a family requires a great deal of love, compromise and dialogue.
Starting a relationship is an important stage in establishing a good foundation and getting to know each other.
Then, once everyone has got to grips with each other, it’s time to keep the relationship alive. To do this, it’s important to talk things through and give feedback.
Let’s face it, this is something we always put off until later, because putting our foot down is not the exercise we enjoy the most. You don’t know how to do it or when to do it.
I tend to favour a moment when I have time to myself and I’m not going to be interrupted and I don’t have any imperatives, and when I’m alone with the person.
Here are the 5 steps to giving constructive feedback and helping someone to improve with kindness:
- Start with positive feedback: it’s important to start with something positive to create an atmosphere of trust and respect. Point out what the person has done well and show them that you appreciate their efforts.
- Identify areas for improvement: identify areas where the person can improve and be specific in your comments. Avoid vague criticism, which can damage self-confidence.
- Use concrete examples: to help the person understand what they need to improve, use concrete examples that illustrate the points you have identified. This will help them understand the specific behaviours they need to change.
- Suggest solutions: suggest concrete solutions to help the person improve their skills. Show them examples of what they could do differently and encourage them to try new approaches.
- End on a positive note: end the feedback on a positive note. Reassure the person that you are there to support them and that you have confidence in their ability to improve. Congratulate them on the progress they have already made and encourage them to continue working on their skills.
