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5 key tips for choosing an au pair

5 key tips for choosing an au pair

The one who will cherish them and be an example to them. It also means choosing a person with whom the whole family will live. It’s also the person who will replace us during our absences. So it’s best to be aligned with a few rules of life when choosing your au pair. So how do you make the right choice?

Read also 👉“Rules for living with your Au Pair” to organize this new daily routine shared with your au pair.

Anticipate

I foresee therefore I am… Serene!

Looking for an au pair for September? Don’t start looking in July. Anticipate your search as early as spring 🌱 put your needs down on paper and prepare your search.

It may seem like a long way off, but time will go by very quickly, and this lead time is more than necessary. So don’t be too hasty in choosing your au pair. Do you find yourself a few weeks behind schedule at the beginning of September? Admit it, spending 🏖️ your summer vacations without the stress of wondering how you’ll manage back to school is a very welcome luxury 😊.

We tell you more about how long it takes to find an au pair in our article 👉 “How long does it take to find your au pair?”.

Clarify your au pair needs

“When I say I want, I mean I want”
(Roger Rabbit, Who Wants Roger Rabbit’s Skin)

All young people wishing to go ✈️ au pair are different from one another. Each has his or her own qualities and faults. That’s why it’s up to you to prioritize the main qualities you’re looking for and stick to them.

Of course, there are the obvious aspects: length of stay, gender, level of French, age. Then there are all the little details that may be important to you: driving license 🚗 ? Diet? Relationship to animals 🐕 ? Comfortable in the mountains? Swimming? Enjoys city life? Etc.

What’s more, it’s essential to know exactly what you’ll be offering the au pair. There are, of course, the legal terms 📄 like the amount of his pocket money and the elements that can help his daily life (need for a vehicle 🚙, a SIM card, etc.). But there are also all the ancillary aspects like managing his free time, whether you plan to involve him in your weekend outings, your ⛷️ vacations, whether you envisage regular babysitting, etc.

Butrfly tips: make a list of what’s compulsory and what you could compromise on depending on your family, the tasks the au pair will be asked to do and your environment. This list will prevent you from falling for the super profile of Sabrina who can’t swim even though you live by the sea 🌊. Or convince yourself that you’ll be able to live with Lola’s vegetarianism, even though you love meat (⚠️ True story!).

The candidates you’ve met tick all the boxes on paper. So use your feelings. Was the first interview inconclusive 😬? If after several calls, that feeling is still tugging at you, it might be best to listen to yourself and not close the deal with this young person.

Butrfly’s advice: You’re not sure? Pass. When there’s doubt, there’s no doubt. The au pair is going to live with you, so if you have any doubts about his or her personality, it’s best to give yourself more time.

To find out about all the requirements for becoming a host family 👇

Conditions to host an au pair

Now’s the time to have video calls 📱 with au pairs whose profile you really like. Don’t hesitate to ask questions, even the dumbest ones, use role-playing, describe your environment 🖼️ and encourage them to ask you questions during your video calls.

You have to think of the au pair as a foreigner, with all that this implies in terms of different frames of reference. A “village” may turn out to be a city of several thousand inhabitants in their own country. That’s why you need to take the time to explain 🗣️ things to avoid misunderstandings.

During these video exchanges, you’ll also be able to show him your house 🏡, the garden, his bedroom 🛏️ and, for his part, you’ll appreciate his response, his accent, his curiosity. These discussions should not be interrogations, but they will allow you to feel if the current passes between you 👍. After all, you’re going to be living with this person for a while!

To find out everything you need to know about the different types of childcare, discover our free, comprehensive guide with additional information on the au pair program ⬇️

Without taboos … your family isn’t perfect

You dream of a tidy house, but you know your tornadoes won’t give you a break. They sow toys 🧸 all over your living room. Your husband is an adept of dragging socks around and you sometimes order pizzas 🍕 some evenings to make up for a crazy schedule or put cartoons on your kids from time to time, so be it!

So yes, this lady who swears by crafts 🎨 and walks would be the ideal ‘big sister’ 😇 to get your cherubs’ heads off their screens. But don’t kid yourself! All your attempts to change your family’s (unfortunate) habits have proved fruitless, so why should it be any different this time?

And there’s no point in painting a picture of the ideal family. Don’t boast about your cordon-bleu skills 🧑‍🍳, when the “mashed ham” diet is a regular occurrence. Or don’t describe yourself as an “anti-TV” family 📺, when Wednesday afternoons are usually filled with a Disney DVD.

Be honest. Tell her clearly what’s going on at home. As a young person, she knows all about family life and its problems. So it’s better to find someone who can put up with your little shortcomings than someone who has the qualities of your shortcomings and is likely to flee 🏃‍♀️ at the first opportunity.

Involvement

One for all, all for one!

In a couple 👫 it’s often one of the members who takes charge of the “au pair file”. That’s fine, but it doesn’t mean that your partner or children shouldn’t be involved. Talk to your family about what they expect from this person, and how they see daily life. This will help you clarify the family’s needs.

Share interesting profiles with your partner, summarize 🖋️ the exchanges you’ve had with the au pair to your family, involve your partner in video chats 📱. There’s nothing like talking to each other to make sure you don’t forget anything.

Got a candidate you like? Maybe it’s time to get the main people involved: your children 👶. Now, we’re not asking you to get your out-of-place 3-year-old to hold a conversation. But organizing this session will allow your children to “see” their future big sister or big brother. They’ll be able to talk to him or her, ask questions, and this first contact will give you a feel for how the relationship between your children and the au pair will be.

Butrfly tips: And it’s always easier for your children to accept your choice if they’ve had a chance to give their opinion on it. This will make the relationship between you, the children and the au pair that much easier.

Because it’s not only girls who can become au pairs, discover the testimonial of a family who welcomed an au pair boy 👉 “Welcoming an au pair boy”.

Instinct

The factual yes, listen to your heart too!

The candidates you’ve met tick all the boxes on paper. So use your feelings. Was the first interview inconclusive 😬? If after several calls, that feeling is still tugging at you, it might be best to listen to yourself and not close the deal with this young person.

Butrfly’s advice: You’re not sure? Pass. When there’s doubt, there’s no doubt. The au pair is going to live with you, so if you have any doubts about his or her personality, it’s best to give yourself more time.

To find out about all the requirements for becoming a host family 👇

Conditions to host an au pair

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