Being hit by a child can be very unpleasant and confusing. You may wonder what you did to provoke this behavior, or you may fear that your child is aggressive and tend to label him or her negatively. In this article, I explain a little about the source of the problem and how to deal with it.
What can cause this behavior?
Understanding why your child is being aggressive is the first step towards finding a solution. Seeing things from your child’s point of view can really help you keep control of yourself.
To begin with, you need to know that behind the hitting and aggression lies fear. Your little one is simply afraid of something; it’s a natural emotion. Children don’t have our emotional intelligence and don’t know how to manage their emotions. That’s why we’re here to help them understand what’s going on and teach them how to manage their emotions in a healthy way. So start by trying to figure out what might be causing the fear. Have you moved to another house? When does this normally happen? Does it normally happen at night? Do you have a new babysitter, etc… and be patient while trying to guide your child to unlearn this unacceptable behavior. So why does he hit?
How do you deal with the situation?
First of all, you need to be calm and patient as you deal with the situation. No one would solve the problem by reacting to aggression with aggressive behavior. If you’re struggling at this point and feel you’re becoming impatient and impulsive, take a moment to acknowledge your feelings.
After that, immediately find a way to calm down, take a deep breath, count to ten, remember that this is just a phase and above all that he needs your help. Respond with understanding and empathy, cuddle him, stroke his little hands, and soon he’ll calm down with you. In this way, you’ll both find a way to let your emotions out. Children should always be able to express themselves at home. If he needs to scream or hit his toys, then let him. Then, if you say no or forbid it, he won’t know any other way to release his emotions and may end up with bad alternatives. He may hurt himself or hit other people. Then do activities that he enjoys and that are a good way for him to express his emotions, such as drawing, all kinds of sports, music, reading, games, etc.
Give your child time
Finally, change doesn’t happen overnight. It will take some time for your child to learn this new, healthy way of letting go of fear and anger. Even if it seems like the problem has already been solved, be prepared for a few surprise punches. Nevertheless, you’re on the right track if this happens less frequently. So be consistent. Sometimes children like to experiment, but if the answer is the same, they won’t need to do these little experiments later.
Testimonial written by Elena Chapkanovska, au pair at Butrfly. 👩
